Rule number one of conflict
transformation says: negotiate by interests, not by positions. Why do we consistently
fail at this? There might be multiple explanations. Anyhow, it could be a style
we carry from the XX Century or from the Cold War era, to negotiate in a
“tit-for-tat” way, as if it were a chess game, winner-take-all, or zero-sum
game. We all know what it means and we all know it doesn't work anymore.
Negotiating by
interests is what allows us to engage in XXI Century negotiation tactics to
create shared value, to crowdsource solutions, to transform conflicts into
future scenarios of prosperity. That’s what innovation is all about, and we are
not talking about technology or business only, but social and political
innovation as well.
For example, in
discussing climate change, we need more and deeper dialogue and engagement
between ecologists and economists, between engineers and lawyers, between
artists and entrepreneurs, so that cross-pollination of ideas renders eclectic
solutions that no single stakeholder has thought about herself.
Identifying
positions is very easy: we usually know where our counterparts stand on all
issues. But do we know why? Do they know why? This “why” is key to identify the
interests that drive stakeholders into a negotiation or into a stalemate, which
is the most likely outcome of a negotiation based on positions.
Starting with why
allows us to fully and transparently grasp the essence of our interests, and
allows our counterparts to help us satisfy our needs, solve our problems, and
achieve our goals. Welcome to the world of co-creation, the world of
transversal partnerships, of showing each other’s cards and generating synergy.
That is, to jointly generate the greatest possible outcome for everyone
involved. If you are familiar with the concept of enlarging the pie, it is
precisely that: instead of trying to fight for grabs of the biggest slice one
can take, first let us figure out a way to make the pie larger. This will
ensure that the slice you get will be bigger than any other slice you could
have taken.
Negotiating by
interests is boring if you like the thrill of poker, where the winner takes it
all and where you are encouraged to lie and bluff if it means winning. It
requires authenticity and an attitude of openness. It is incredibly effective
if we want to create new value, to go beyond where we could have gone by
ourselves, and to reach higher echelons of success.
Success is made by a
long chain of partial failures. It is reached when you exhaust all the mistakes
that are required to learn the lessons that will make it sprout: a very natural
process indeed. As long as we negotiate by interests, this trial-and-error
process will lead somewhere prosperous. Otherwise, negotiating by positions
will only make us cave in deeper into a vicious cycle of no return. If you have
clarity about your position, ask yourself why it is so until you find your
interests. Encourage your counterparts to do the same. Become partners into
co-creating success. We are all in the same boat anyway, and no one is getting
out of it alive, so make the absolute best of it you possibly can.
